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Literature Text
When the leaves cascade in forgotten fall,
it is their colour on the pale cement.
The hue on children's cheeks
as the cold nips their noses.
It is what dyes the trees,
autumn reaching--
for crystal stars.
The colour of berries
that taint one's lips,
and fading evenings of light.
When the logs are burning,
it is the colour they glow
before disappearing forever.
The scarf lost,
an ornament on the tree
and shades of a smile.
Foliage resting in morning,
apples nestled in branches,
delicate pomegranates below.
It is the colour you see
listening to the forest's whispers
eyes closed
facing sunbeams.
it is their colour on the pale cement.
The hue on children's cheeks
as the cold nips their noses.
It is what dyes the trees,
autumn reaching--
for crystal stars.
The colour of berries
that taint one's lips,
and fading evenings of light.
When the logs are burning,
it is the colour they glow
before disappearing forever.
The scarf lost,
an ornament on the tree
and shades of a smile.
Foliage resting in morning,
apples nestled in branches,
delicate pomegranates below.
It is the colour you see
listening to the forest's whispers
eyes closed
facing sunbeams.
Literature
Only When I Write
The drama unfurling in my life
Feels like the shadow of my hand
That grows as it comes ever closer
To the light perched on my bed stand
In that I can feel the darkest cloud
Ever such a menacing sight
In time I can reverse the feeling
But only when I write
Seclusion left me with nothing
Apart from creativity
Loneliness it turns out, my friends
Is quite the aperitif
For the feast that is awaiting me
If I make it through the night
Tomorrow always brings me new hope
But only when I write
You approach me on a good day
And I will offer you a smile
The same expression on the worst days
Because my manners are so mild
But don’t take me for a t
Literature
Comic Book Hero
We met in the Summer, I was single and free,
So fragile and sweet, he took care of me.
He was so much fun, exciting and new,
It was all so amazing, too good to be true.
Like a comic book hero, he swept me away.
He promised me the world, the night and day.
But his heart was untrue, his words were lies.
No comic book hero, but a villain disguised.
Our romance was deep, like Superman and Miss Lane
Iron Man, Miss Potts, Spidey and Mary Jane.
He impressed me with gifts, and words sublime,
Affirmations of how he would always be mine.
Like a comic book hero, he swept me away.
He promised me the world, the night and day.
But his hea
Literature
Another Day
Another day without you
Although I know, yes I do
That tomorrow hopefully again
I'll have you under my arm
Today however I live in pain
For my heart is no longer warm
This is a long a day
Without you, I again say
Want to be with you all the time
Embrace, kiss and touch you
To call you forever mine
That's what I want to do
But I have to wait
That is my faith
Just a few short hours
but they aren't for me
I want our love to flower
with you is where I want to be
Yet another dark thought
and this is what it brought
I long for you so much
It's a burden I have to bare
Until I can see and touch
and show you how much I care
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Written: 12/22/12
This is a Christmas gift for a close friend of mine.
The Rainbow Series is inspired by something I saw on tumblr where a poem/story/etc is written about a colour without using the actual colour name in the actual piece. Enraptured, I decided to try my hand at the colours of the rainbow since I absolutely adore them. I plan to post a colour a day unless my schedule says otherwise.
This is entirely experimental and based on the reaction I may attempt akin thoughts in my writings. Please let me know what you think!
This is a Christmas gift for a close friend of mine.
The Rainbow Series is inspired by something I saw on tumblr where a poem/story/etc is written about a colour without using the actual colour name in the actual piece. Enraptured, I decided to try my hand at the colours of the rainbow since I absolutely adore them. I plan to post a colour a day unless my schedule says otherwise.
This is entirely experimental and based on the reaction I may attempt akin thoughts in my writings. Please let me know what you think!
Comments15
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Hi, I'm critiquing on behalf of 
. 
This poem definitely uses a lot of imagery, and that last stanza is especially evocative. I think I would have enjoyed the poem more if it didn't say 'Red' right in the title, because I'd have been forced to picture those things in my head to see the colour you're talking about. But since I knew it was red, it was hard not to just see it as a list, rather than a poem to be interpreted.
That said, the language you use is poetic, and the imagery is good despite it being slightly spoiled by the title. The actual poem is well-done, and it's a genuinely enjoyable read, with great scenery. I don't know if you were going for this, but the poem also has a kind of distinct feeling of home. The autumn leaves, children, berries, logs, fire, foliage, and just all this stuff that really brings me back to my childhood, I guess. That may not be the case for everyone, but I enjoyed that aspect a lot; another common theme that brings the verses together in a meaningful way.
Overall, you've done a good job of using imagery to evoke a very specific concept, and also managed to appeal to emotion by way of the human and natural examples you've given. Nice work!
. This poem definitely uses a lot of imagery, and that last stanza is especially evocative. I think I would have enjoyed the poem more if it didn't say 'Red' right in the title, because I'd have been forced to picture those things in my head to see the colour you're talking about. But since I knew it was red, it was hard not to just see it as a list, rather than a poem to be interpreted.
That said, the language you use is poetic, and the imagery is good despite it being slightly spoiled by the title. The actual poem is well-done, and it's a genuinely enjoyable read, with great scenery. I don't know if you were going for this, but the poem also has a kind of distinct feeling of home. The autumn leaves, children, berries, logs, fire, foliage, and just all this stuff that really brings me back to my childhood, I guess. That may not be the case for everyone, but I enjoyed that aspect a lot; another common theme that brings the verses together in a meaningful way.
Overall, you've done a good job of using imagery to evoke a very specific concept, and also managed to appeal to emotion by way of the human and natural examples you've given. Nice work!