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Poetry by Chandevi

Amazing by onecommitedgeek

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Submitted on
January 27, 2013
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28 (who?)


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Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 License.
I like to delete parts of my life.
Memory here, an item there.
Fade them away to darkness.
Making room for the light.
The past can’t hold me.
I’m letting go.
Flying now.
Written: 1/26/13
I was cleaning out my life, yet again. I noticed how often I get rid of things whenever I do and how there is less things owned/to go through each time. This nonet popped into mind. :)

A nonet is type of poem where there are nine lines. The first line has nine syllables, the second eight and so on until you reach the ninth line which has one syllable.

I apologize for lack of posts. A busy, stressed life is one that is mine now. In turn lack of inspiration and lack of time has become quite common.
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camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I liked this "okay", and then I read that it was a specific form, so I had to reread it... and liked it more. :)

The only thing I would suggest is to leave off some of that punctuation -- however I do recognise that it's entirely possible that's part of the poetic form itself, in which case please ignore this part! ;)

Speaking of which... I love when people include a description of the form in their author's comment! I know how much effort goes into crafting something to a particular form, and when I can recognise that, it tends to increase my enjoyment of the piece. :) (So thank you!)
Extranzia Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Student Writer
I was debating the punctuation as well! With or without it is applicable, but I felt it made things a tad too strict.

I try to include a specific form if I actually use one when writing. :) I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you so much for your input, it means a lot.
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. :)

Re the specific form, I do too -- except not for haiku because I'm lazy (and because I tend to write haiku mainly in patches).

*nodnod* I find it (the punctuation) hinders the flow a bit, making each line pause longer.
Extranzia Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Student Writer
I can only write haiku once every four months or so. I have issues that way.

I will keep that in mind for the next nonet! :)
camelopardalisinblue Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha. I just did NaHaiWriMo. I can assure you I don't think I'll be writing any haiku again for a while. :p
Extranzia Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013  Student Writer
I can absolutely understand that
Korduro Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
It was ok, as I was the "I" going through the paces.
Though the commenting "I" would like to have seen the writer's "I" not quitting on or at least trying to expand more, in this way.
Hell, if you wanna explain it all in the fucking description, not even trying to do it in the piece itself, why do anything but?
We have profile journals for this reason so use it and please now for you to be keeping this dilution of thoughts out of our tragically filleD literature section!
With love
Extranzia Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
This is a poem written in nonet form, a nine-lined poem where each line after the first is one syllable less. So the first line would have nine syllables, second eight until you go all the way until one. This is a traditional fixed form so it is categorized appropriately. I specifically chose this poem since it would be short and sweet about deleting the past to run free, I did relate it to myself since it is my current predicament. I took my time to ponder fitting words that would align with the form I wrote in as well. Furthermore, I did use my profile journal soon after this poem to actually fill it with my true thoughts about things going on in my life.

A poem can be one's thoughts, description of an event and such. I apologize if it is not exactly up to your criteria of 'true' literature. There is no absolute definition of a 'true' poem or 'true' literature. We have genres, subgenres and our own compilations of multiple genres. Take Poe, his poetry and writing in general was shunned for how gothic it was until after his death and then people considered it worthwhile.

If I meant this to be a journal I would have made it. Though it would be a useless journal, don't you think?

I understand you have distaste for the literature section(yes, I read your jorunal). I do agree with many of your points how some are just entire vomits lacking form, thought and things of the like when such could really be a journal instead of placed under the free and blank verse form. That is how some sadly unappealing works get to the top, though if people can relate that means there is something that others see in it which got that piece there in the first place. In my opinion, two keys for success is how the reader can relate and the point the writer has is being portrayed in an effective way. One or the other tends to happen if something written is at the top of the literature section.

My question to you is, why even bother commenting or reading such things if you can't stand them in the first place? If you don't like it, don't bother. It's not going to change the writing. It's not going to change the author. Your comment was not a constructive criticism, just you going off of your emotions without taking a look from the writer's perspective or any other perspective for that matter. Merely venting your thoughts which "we have profile journals for this reason so use it and please now for you to be keeping this dilution of thoughts out of our tragically filled literature section!" You don't even keep to that by copying your journal into a review which goes into the literature section. Hypocritical there, eh?

I understand you have an opinion, which I respect and line up with in few aspects, but if you want it to be most effective I suggest you change your language into something more constructive, take time to explain why instead of just writing quickly and rashly just grazing over each point. Furthermore, going to people and being so negative isn't going to create a follower base for such opinions. Take Luther vs Malcom X. Both are brilliant in the way they speak and act for their time and purpose. But who is more well known, Malcom who was violent or Luther who focused on uplifting the people while getting a point across? You have that potential to be like Luther if you change how you word things and act a bit.

I've been on DeviantArt as long as you, though it is probable to say we both have been writing longer than our presence on here. Yes, you do have seniority in age and in turn education if you are attending college. Though I must say, please, do not discredit people for something that they enjoy. Some do it for the watches/faves/etc, some (like I) do it because we enjoy the feel of pen to paper, thoughts to words and engaging in thoughts with other users. There's such thing as poetic license, which allows people to go out of the norm. Take Byron and a few other gothic poets, who purposely didn't spell words correctly with this rule, didn't have proper form, etc yet they are taught about at school and they're works are known quite well.

My whole point is, I appreciate your thoughts, though you didn't look quite well into every side. I respect and at some aspects agree with your opinion, though it was not beneficial on either side for how it was presented due to its present degeneration of words instead of just stating the point, that you didn't like my work, doesn't seem proper for literature section and leaving. Though, I do thank you for your time since such thoughts do broaden my view on various people and opinions which is always an educational experience.

Have a great day and I wish you luck on your endeavor to 'purge' DeviantArt's literature section so it may be filled with prudent and proper works. Have fun reaching all 25 million users. :)
Korduro Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Writer
Dude, I totally TL;DR(ed?) the shit out of this at first. But then I said fuckit and read through it. Yeah hahahah! I guess you're right dude, it's us against the visual artists for space on DA in a sense. So I guess I should really be working as the socialist perspective I hold so very dear. Damn you dude, you suck! I was having so much fun being a troll haha >.< Ah, well, coincidentally enough, earlier in this day, the 10th of May, I was going through some dAmn lit and instead of acting as I once had, instead I was helpful to some degree. One comment could have been taken as an abrasive one but it was a serious inquiry into what the hell was meant. Damn dope makes my eyes just go over stuff sometimes, heh. Well, I figure I'd tell you of those so meager. I'm not gonna say you helped a nigga turn over a new leaf, no way. I suppose it's more the shitty adult life I live haha. Whatever dude, you're my new pillar of confiding it would seem, eh? Heh, yeah yeah yeah yeah.... I guess here are plenty of other ways one can be goofy on here... Yeah, and I can see some of what you say in there. I think I know why I'm pounding down your throat this which you're sure to be apathetic to. 'Cause I am a sensible fella, well I'd be even so bold as to say I am one of the more sensible fellas once one levels with a nigga. I do mean not feeding the troll too. Man, oh man, oh maannnn ooohh maaannn-cala!
junete Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Beautifully written and I love this form.
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